<米國醫生笑話- 二>

之前分享過一篇
https://www.facebook.com/lilyfishyfish/posts/675688582515367
這是第二篇 XD

米國的醫生很喜歡互相酸來酸去
各大科之間都會有些有趣(?)的小口角
我想這應該也算是一種幽默吧 XD

大家看看笑笑就好,
千萬不要太過認真啊 XD

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Q: 麻醉科醫生的 A B C 指的是什麼?
(What’s ABC of Anesthesiology?)
A: 呼吸道,書,椅子
(Airway, Book, Chair)

Q: 開刀房裡外科醫生和麻醉科醫生中間的分隔單學名叫做什麼?
(How do you call the surgical drape separating the anesthesiologist from the surgeon?)
A: 血腦障礙
(Blood- brain barrier)

Q: 下午三點,醫院裡最危險的地方是哪裡?
(what's the most dangerous place in the hospital at 3pm?)
A: 皮膚科醫生與他的車之間
(between a dermatologist and his car.)

Q: 電梯門快關了,內科醫生會怎麼做?
(What will an internist do when he is trying to catch an elevator?)
A: 用手擋
(He will use his hand)

Q: 電梯門快關了,外科醫生會怎麼做?
(What will a surgeon do when he is trying to catch an elevator?)
A: 用腳擋
(He will use his foot)

Q: 電梯門快關了,骨科醫生會怎麼做?
(What will a orthopedic surgeon do when he is trying to catch an elevator?)
A: 他會用頭擋
(He will stick his head in the closing doors)

Q: 醫學生和大便有什麼差別?
(What's the difference between a med student and shit?)
A: 你不會沒事去踩大便
(You wouldn't step on shit.)

Q: 如何讓外科醫生發笑?
(What makes a surgeon laugh?)
A: 給他看你這禮拜的值班表
(Show him your call schedule this week)

Q: 如何讓皮膚科醫生發笑?
(What makes a dermatologist laugh?)
A: 給他看外科醫生的值班表
(Show him a surgeon's call schedule.)

Q: 外科醫生和神有什麼差別?
(What's the difference between God and a surgeon?)
A: 神不會認為自己是外科醫生
(God doesn't think he's a surgeon)

Q: 皮膚科的秘訣是什麼?
(What’s the secret in dermatology?)
A: 如果是濕的,擦乾它。如果是乾的,弄濕它。都不行,類固醇
(If it's wet, dry it. If it's dry, wet it. If all else fails, use steroids.)

Q: 骨科醫生用的三重抗生素是?
(What's triple antibiotic coverage to an orthopod?)
A: 1公克的頭孢唑啉 + 1公克的頭孢唑啉 + 1公克的頭孢唑啉....
(1 gram of Ancef + 1 gram of Ancef + 1 gram of Ancef...)

Q: 牙買加的直腸外科醫生叫什麼?
(What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?)
A: Poke Mon

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醫生:去看看那位快生的病人。我要你檢查一下她擴張了沒有
Doctor: Go see this patient, she’s going into active labour. I want you to check if she’s dilated or not.

醫學生: 呃,Ok,我去看看
Med Student: Um, okay. I will go check.

醫學生看了病人,檢察了她的眼睛,然後走了回來
Medical student sees patient, checks the patient’s eyes, then reports back.

醫學生: 呃,兩個看起來都擴張的挺厲害的
Med Student: Um…I think they both look pretty dilated.
醫生: 兩…個……?
Doctor: ……both?

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一位物理教授在跟一位想考醫學院的學生解釋十分複雜的物理原理,學生突然打斷教授
A physics professor was explaining a complicated concept when a premed
student interrupted him.

“我們為什麼要學這狗屁?”學生憤怒的大叫
“Why do we have to learn this bullshit?” the young man blurted out.
“救人一命” 教授冷靜的回答
“To save lives,” the professor replied calmly.

“物理原理哪會救人啊?”
“How does physics save lives?”

“會,物理會救人性命”,教授接著說下去,”這種題目會讓某些人考不進醫學院”
“It does. Physics saves lives,” the professor said, “because it keeps certain people out of medical school.”

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lilyfishyfish

小百合學醫隨筆

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  • helen820521
  • Q: 下午三點,醫院裡最危險的地方是哪裡?
    (what's the most dangerous place in the hospital at 3pm?)
    A: 皮膚科醫生與他的車之間
    (between a dermatologist and his car.)
    小百合我不太懂這個可以解釋一下嗎?XDDDD
  • Han
  • 閱讀完整篇感覺有學到英文 哈哈哈 not bad!
  • 訪客
  • 該不會是在酸皮膚科醫生趕著早下班
    所以才說下午三點很危險吧www
  • pig4042
  • 一定要分享給朋友們知道!
    很棒的內容喔
    給版主一個讚
  • 訪客
  • What will an internist do when he is trying to catch an elevator?
    He will use his hand
    實習醫生(intern, not internal medicine)會傻傻用手去擋

    What will a surgeon do when he is trying to catch an elevator?
    He will use his foot
    外科醫師手很貴, 所以用腳 (另外指外科控床用腳?)

    What will a orthopedic surgeon do when he is trying to catch an elevator?
    He will stick his head in the closing doors
    骨科知道顳骨最硬
  • 訪客
  • internist感覺是筆誤或口誤