duck  

photo credit: 浦公英

 

 

米國醫生在醫院常常會互糗對方
這些是我常常聽到的笑話 XD

大家看看就好,
不要太認真 XD

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from a general surgeon?
(你要如何從一般外科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
Just put it in the patient’s notes.
(放在病人的病歷裡就好了)

How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from an orthopedic surgeon?
(你要如何從骨科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
Just put it in a textbook.
(放在醫學課本裡面就好了)

How do you hide a $100 bill from a CT surgeon?
(你要如何從胸腔外科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
Just paste it to their kid's forehead. He will never see it.
(黏在他小孩的額頭上。他絕對不會發現的)

How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from a plastic surgeon?
(你要如何從整形醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
It's a trick question. You can't.
(不好意思,辦不到)

How do you hide a $100 from a radiologist?
(你要如何從放射科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
Put it on the patient.
(放在病人身上)

How do you hide a $100 from an internist?
(你要如何從內科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
Easy, just put it under a dressing.
(很簡單,放在繃帶下)

what do you call 2 medical students looking at a EKG?
(兩個醫學生一起看心電圖叫作什麼?)
a double blind study
(雙盲研究)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

knows everything, does nothing
(什麼都知道,什麼做不了)
Neurologist
(神經科醫生)

knows nothing, does everything
(什麼都不知道,什麼都做)
Surgeon
(外科醫生)

knows nothing, does nothing
(什麼都不知道,什麼都不做)
Psychiatrist
(精神科醫師)

knows everything, does everything but too late
(什麼都知道,但是不管做甚麼都已經太晚了)
A pathologist
(病理醫生)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A medical student, family doctor, an internist, a surgeon and a pathologist go duck hunting.
(一個醫學生,一個家庭醫生,一個內科醫生,一個外科醫生,還有一個病理醫生一起去打獵)

The medical student is the first to raise his shotgun, but unable to tell if the duck is really a duck, he does not shoot.
(醫學生是第一個舉起獵槍的,但是他沒有開槍.. 因為他無法分別那是否真的是一隻鴨子)

The family doctor goes "here's a bird", shoots, kills. He concludes "it looked like a duck, sounded like a duck, was killed by duck shot, it was a duck!".
(家庭醫生說:"這是鳥科類的動物”,冷靜開槍,殺了動物。他做了結論:”他看起來像隻鴨子,聽起來像隻鴨子,又被我一槍殺了,他一定是隻鴨”

The internist points his gun, but does not shoot. "This probable bird certainly looks like a female mallard, but I must be sure of what I am killing before shooting. A juvenile Mesopotamian sea duck would look exactly the same!".
(內科醫生舉起了獵槍,但是他沒有開槍. “這個鳥科動物看起來很像母姓綠頭鴨,可是我一定要完全確定後才能開槍,因為幼年的美索不達米亞海鴨有可能看起來跟這隻一模一樣!)

The surgeon goes "look, it flies! Boom", then turns to the pathologist and asks "So, what was it?".
(外科醫生大喊: “大家看,有東西在飛! 碰!”,然後轉身跟身邊的病理醫生說 :” 你幫我看看,那到底是啥玩意兒?”)

創作者介紹
創作者 lilyfishyfish 的頭像
lilyfishyfish

小百合學醫隨筆

lilyfishyfish 發表在 痞客邦 留言(7) 人氣()


留言列表 (7)

發表留言
  • zoe
  • 最後的外科醫生太哭了XDDD
  • 外科醫生呼呼呼 XD

    lilyfishyfish 於 2014/08/11 09:31 回覆

  • Rahman Yu
  • 大家最近都去FB了XDDD
    小百合最近還好嗎~~?
    這幾天台灣在舉辦世界醫學生聯盟八月大會!!!
    遇到好多外國醫學生~~~~
    你之前有參加過醫學生聯合會嗎?XD
  • Hello!

    好久不見! XD
    現在都跑去臉書了 XDD 真是不好意思

    我沒有參加過耶
    感覺很好玩
    我問問看有沒有同學要去 :)

    lilyfishyfish 於 2014/08/11 09:32 回覆

  • sally
  • 終於在臺灣時間凌晨三點半爬完小百合所有的文了!
    這樣可以晉級為鐵粉了吧!哈~
  • 喔喔好感動~

    謝謝合粉 :)

    lilyfishyfish 於 2014/08/11 09:34 回覆

  • Rahman Yu
  • 其實我還是有在FB follow你啊XD
    只是那邊人太多了:p
    而且你也認不出來吧XDD
    如果有機會可以來我們學校交換走走(一起擋路?XD)
    (NTUH!)
  • HEY!

    偷偷告訴你,台大accept我的application了!
    明年要去NTU實習了啦 XD

    趕快交換聯絡方式!!! XDD

    lilyfishyfish 於 2014/08/16 07:54 回覆

  • 悄悄話
  • nurse practitioner to be
  • surgeon 的我都笑好久, 可能是因為現在在 CT surgery 工作吧 XDXD
  • Wow 辛苦你了!

    CT surgery工作太操勞了,你真是厲害 :)

    lilyfishyfish 於 2014/09/27 09:16 回覆